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Wayhomer Review #64: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides 3D

Ian McShane as Blackbeard in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides 3D

Episode #64 for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides 3D, in which our protagonist talks trilogy failures of ambition vs. sloth, the rules of the Jack Sparrow Universe, and gets tired of having swords pointed at his face.

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Special thanks to PhantomV48 for the closing animation.

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  • Oh man. Another vicious Pirates 2 and 3 hater. That’s okay. It’s fine that everyone poos on my favorite trilogy. Yeah, I actually did know what was going on during them. At least we both agree on the Matrix sequels being marginally salvageable.

    I didn’t see On Stranger Tides in 3D but I certainly enjoyed it a lot more, realizing that they had a rough go at renewing the franchise.

  • Pixie: Thanks for the comment…I think for a film that was obviously designed to make money first and have some artistic merit maybe fifth, they did the best they could.

    You might enjoy this: once Revolutions came out and was an abysmal mess, I rewrote Matrix Revolutions with a new treatment that ran with what I thought the ending of the second film meant:

  • If I am understanding it correctly, and with all things Matrix does anyone ever understand anything, your ending almost reads like the story re-feeds itself. Only those in Zion end up ‘escapees’ so to speak. And everyone else has to go through the cycle again like The Architect/Oracle spoke often of.

  • Yes…what I thought they were doing at the end of Movie #2 when Neo demonstrated powers in the “real world” was showing that the real world wasn’t real at all. How do you protect yourself from the problem of keeping humans under control? Give them a system to fight…within a secondary system. So everything we’ve ever seen in the world of The Matrix is fake. And with the end of my version of #3 you can either end there (preferred), continue on with the story of trying to bust the rest of humanity out, or launch a completely different story with Movie #4. That’s why I kept it nebulous as to whether or not the true reason humanity was imprisoned was for power. But yes, it closes out that chapter and gives you the option of doing anything.

  • Pirates v. Matrix=wtf? Two different universes. This movie has one or two amusing moments, then sinks into dreary dullness. I have tried to watch it 3 times and have fallen asleep every time. I am not a hater, I liked the other films, even the bad two… ;)

  • Mary: They are two different universes, one fantasy and one sci-fi, but in this universe, consider the following:

    Both PIRATES and MATRIX are franchises with superlative first films, but were shoehorned into being trilogies/franchies for monetary reasons. They were both huge money makers for their respective big budget studios and, in effect, redefined their particular genres. So I think they’re perfectly aligned to compare and contrast, but to each their own. Thanks for the comment.