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Tell Us, O Wise Coffeemaker, of This Place You Call… Outside

Fan-freaking-tastic. Here at the Sleep Deprivation Institute, we are giddy about the removal of any reason to have to leave the calm, warm presence of the coffeemaker. Now we don’t have to even schlepp our way to our terminals to check what the weather is like outside–the coffeemaker will tell us.

Someday our children will never have to know the evil stare of the Dayball. Man, I love living in the future.

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