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Drank: Nothin to Do and Nowhere to Go Oh

Purple Drank

Superman has Lex Luthor. Spider-Man has The Green Goblin. Wolverine has Sabretooth. Except when Sabretooth is a good guy, and then Wolverine has whoever’s fault the goddamn bone claws were.

Anyway, my point is that every great hero has his antithesis, his Other, his archfoe. And it looks like Red Bull and Jolt are going to have to fight over who gets this one: Drank. Instead of caffeine, guarana and taurine, Drank comes with melatonin, valerian root and rose hips. It’s apparently based on a drink called “Purple Drank,” which includes cough syrup.

I must say that I agree with the commenter on The Consumerist (where we found this), who thought we already had an anti-energy drink called “beer.” And as silly as it sounds to have an anti-energy drink–I don’t know about you, but I don’t need any help getting sleepy–at least it has a purpose that makes sense. What gets me are the alcoholic energy drinks. Mixing a depressant and a stimulant would seem to me to put you right back where you started–utterly pointless.