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Monster Energy Drink Lives Up to the Worst Connotations of Its Name

In yet another example of a corporation acting like total dicks, Hansen Beverage Company, who owns Monster Energy Drink, has decided to send a cease and desist to Rock Art Brewery in Vermont. Why would a company that makes energy drinks give a damn about a different company that makes beer? Because A) the brewery makes a beverage called Vermonster (which is a beer and not an energy drink) and because Hansen wants to go into alcoholic beverages. So they’re just playing the corporate bully and trying to push Rock Art Brewery out of the way. Here’s Matt, the head burrito of Rock Art, to tell you about it.

Direct link for the feedreaders.
[ad#longpost]The crazy thing is this: Hansen–you morons–I never would have heard of Rock Art without you kicking this off. Now I want to buy their beer–if anything you are going to make them stronger. And I, like many people, probably aren’t going to want to buy anything from you…ever…again. Because you’re obviously dicks. And let’s face it, your drinks aren’t that good anyway, so I’m not missing much by not buying them any longer.

Uh-oh…I might have set myself up for trouble…since Hansen is pestering a website to take down info on their product…because they posted a bad review of the product in question. The Consumerist has more info here.

Not only am I talking smack about them here, but I did review one of their coffee energy drinks…and Java Monster was terrible. So I guess they’re going to send me a cease and desist next. I welcome it.

If you want to go and show your support for Rock Art, you can find them here. If you’d like to see a list of what products you should probably stop buying–in addition to Monster–because they’re manufactured and marketed by assholes, go here.


  • Ahhhh, A company committing suicide is always a depressing spectacle. I remember when SCO got a bit too sue happy for their own good…

    Here’s to hoping that if NeedCoffee does get flak… it’s publicizes NeedCoffee as Yet Another Cool Thing that assholes feel a need to try and smack down :D.