Your Monday Morning Mental Sorbet: Doki-Doki Beam!

Kodai Shoujo Dogu-chan

Each Monday morning, as your work week is getting started, we want to give you the gift of perspective. If we start your week off with a profound blast of WTFery, the idea is the rest of the madness and chaos that is sure to come as the week progresses–all of that will be easier to take. You’re welcome.

This week, though, we’ve got a doozie. The show is from Japan and, from what I can tell, is called Kodai Shoujo Dogu-chan. And the heroine has super-powered breasts. Not only do they have incredible abilities and look like afterburners when, um, “turned on,” but they also apparently function not unlike the containment units from Ghostbusters.

Breasts, albeit covered, are featured prominently in what you’re about to see. I would declare this NSFW, but frankly I think your boss would be more confused than offended. Enjoy.
(more…)

By | 2017-09-24T22:52:07+00:00 May 17th, 2010|Mental Sorbet|0 Comments

Stuff: British Internet Insanity, The Return of Tarzan, & Everybody Loves Russian Raymond

Returned to Sender
  • UK readers, it was nice knowing you. Because we sometimes link out to places that have copyrighted material, the government could block Needcoffee from your view–if we’re understanding how this new law will work–disclaimer needed because I haven’t read the whole thing. Granted, we don’t do much of such linking–compared to most of the rest of the net, anyway–but we will link out or embed videos. Generally we include a way for people to buy the thing in question, so I don’t lose any sleep over it. But more than anything else, I think the hilarity of watching the courts in the UK try to process the impending avalanche of requests is going to make this go away sooner than later. And the sadness of watching Twitter light up with proxies like was being done recently with…that’s right…Iranian protestors. UK: You can’t stop the net. Sorry. Nice round-up of links here.
  • Like Japanese entertainment stuff? You’re in luck. They have “a cabinet-level office for intellectual property rights strategy” and they want to double their export of fun stuff. We’re going to talk below about us exporting television shows internationally…but can we please get a U.S. version of this? Source: Variety, who doesn’t want you to read the original article.
  • (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T22:53:21+00:00 April 8th, 2010|Stuff You Need to Know|0 Comments

    Your Monday Morning Mental Sorbet: Admiral Ackbar, Is That You?

    Sea Chicken Star Wars

    Every week we like to kick start your surreality gland with a bit of nonsense. We figure if you start your week off like this, then the remaining work days will only improve as things wear on.

    This week we’ve managed to terrify ourselves: it’s some weird psychotic gestalt between Star Wars, disco and canned tuna. It’s not just canned tuna, as the voice that sounds eeriely like one of Dave Seville’s chipmunks on crystal meth will tell you…it’s “Sea Chicken.” Even knowing that the term “sea chicken” was associated with this vid, it still took me three times watching it to understand that’s what the freaky voice was saying. And what exactly does Star Wars have to do with tuna or chickens of any kind? No idea.

    Ah, Japan. Garden of WTF delights. How we adore thee.
    (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T22:54:12+00:00 March 1st, 2010|Mental Sorbet|0 Comments

    Extreme Violence, Naughty Tentacles, and Penis Admiration From Black Phoenix

    Down with Cupid

    A rifle would be easier, but it's worth it for the irony.

    Once again, it’s Valentine’s Day. The day where mutant naked winged toddlers come to terrorize the masses, their arrows coated with powerful psychotropics that will turn a rational person into a baby-talking moron who buys anything that is heart shaped. I can hear their mad cackling now. Can’t you? It is indeed fortunate that we have Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab to help cut through the holiday treacle and give us an alternative that nothing to do with Hallmark, Zales Jewelery, and Russell Stover Candies.

    (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T22:54:43+00:00 February 11th, 2010|Stimuli|0 Comments

    Your Monday Morning Mental Sorbet: Bob McGrath is Turning Japanese. I Really Think So.

    Bob McGrath album

    It’s the way we like to start the week off: with something a bit weird and off kilter, so that the rest of your work week will seem more normal by comparison. That, and it’s a good mind wipe to kick things off.

    And this time–yes, that’s right, it’s Bob McGrath, b.k.a. the Bob from Sesame Street. And he appeared on both I’ve Got a Secret and To Tell the Truth with his story: that he was a very successful Irish tenor…in Japan. And damn, he does have a great voice. Watch both clips but especially check out a very young Orson Bean and Tom Poston in the Truth segment.
    (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T22:54:50+00:00 February 1st, 2010|Mental Sorbet|0 Comments

    Your Weekend Justice #49: The Spittle of Drama

    Vick Vapour Rub

    And we’re back. Please note: this podcast, if you haven’t figured it out, is profane and not safe for consumption by children or animals. Or sentient creatures of any sort. You can’t say we didn’t warn you.

    [audio:http://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/www.needcoffee.com/podcasts/wjustice010810.mp3]

    Agenda:

    • Widge’s tit?
    • Leigh and her noises
    • By the way, it’s cold
    • Speak For Yourself, Shackleton
    • The Holiday Report
    • The expected Avatar rantfest
    • The even more expected Doctor Who rantfest
    • The obligatory Torchwood mini-rant (by comparison to the previous rantfests)
    • Doctor Who actor transitions
    • The Torchwood musical
    • (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T22:55:45+00:00 January 9th, 2010|Podcasts, Weekend Justice|2 Comments

    Your Monday Morning Mental Sorbet: Kaiju Thriller

    Ultraman!

    Each Monday, we try to start off your week right: with the sort of mind-numbering WTFery that will get you prepped for your impending drudgery. We figure once your mind has been inoculated with the right amount of nonsense, you’re set. And the technical term for what we have this time around is: a doozy.

    There have been multiple attempts at re-staging the dance from Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video…but I think this one wins.
    (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T22:55:49+00:00 January 4th, 2010|Mental Sorbet|0 Comments

    32 Days of Halloween III, Day 10: How Do You Make a Trailer Extra Scary?

    Japanese Dawn of the Dead

    As learned last year with Evil Dead, the way to increase the scare factor of practically anything by 136% is to give it a Japanese narrator. Like for example, here’s three chapters of the original Friday the 13th franchise:

    Direct link for the feedreaders.

    What is he saying? Is it really running down the reasons why Jason is a scary bastard? Or is he reading his grocery list? And honestly, to anyone who doesn’t speak Japanese…does it matter? Seriously, somebody go and take the Chairman from the Japanese Iron Chef. Take some of his vocals. Lay them down on top of something like Fraggle Rock or Teletubbies and see if you don’t crap your pants.

    There’s another down here:
    (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T22:58:53+00:00 October 9th, 2009|32 Days of Halloween|1 Comment